Giving Up?

To be honest, I feel like I am giving up. It is my husband with the fertility problem but he can act like nothing is going on...he keeps on saying how much he wants a child yet I am doing everything. The research, the walk to the clinic, the pain. It is tough being in my shoes. I read so many blogs...most of them have problem with the wives. Not many with male fertility problem. I feel so alone...I really hope my blog can help the wives out there with problem like mine. At the end of the day, everyone is alone. You just need to be strong because at the end of the day, it is just you and your problem.

Yesterday, after months of stress and sadness, finally my husband agreed to tell his parents. I have been wanting to tell my in laws ages ago but hubby said no. My in laws were calm about it. They think it is too early for us to go through fertility treatment. Hubby told them in a subtle way, as if it is a small problem. Well maybe it is. How bad is it to live our lives without a child of our own? If it is up to me, just adopt one for now and let God determine the rest. Plus, the pain that I am going through now is just too much....

Today, we sent our SA to the clinic. Nurse H and another nurse were there to greet me. Today I saw about 4 couples at the clinic, not too crowded like the last visit. The result will be ready on 14062011. I would like to review the result before we see the Dr on the 15th. To be honest, I am not expecting much improvement since I am still not pregnant....

I am feeling extremely sad today...the rude tone of voice which some people around me are using is not helping my depression. The news every single week that a family member or a friend is pregnant is becoming unbearable. I always hope it is a journey together...but it could be my journey alone. What ever it will be, I will prepare myself for it.

I read a very motivating blog today...if you are reading my blog, you should read her blog too:

http://arlene-stylishbaby.blogspot.com/2010_08_01_archive.html


Overall, not a good day.