At 9 weeks

Our baby is 9 weeks old today @ 19.2mm with a heartbeat of 179bpm, Alhamdulillah :) We can now see the head (at the bottom) and the legs. I think I can see the tiny fingers too but i might be imagining things ;) Too excited, looking at my baby...

The next step is to do the Nuchal Scan with Dr Raman at FMGC, as recommended by Dr P. This will be done in January when I will be 12 weeks pregnant. I bit nervous as i know for women below the age of 30, 1 of 900 women carry a child with Down Syndrome. I can only pray to God to give me healthy child and i will love my baby no matter what. I will then come back to KL Fertility for my final check up with Dr P @ 14 weeks before i can graduate and move to another gynae. I really wished i could stay with Dr P but Dr P only concentrates on fertility now. So i have no choice but to find a new gynae...

I got a thank you card signed by almost everyone of my family members and bought some cookies for the gang at KL Fertility. Just a small gesture for the big help and the job well done by the team. Hope they like it our small gift. If not, blame Famos Amous! ;)

The cost for today's visit is RM220

At 7.5 weeks

Hubby and I had the scare of our life. I had some spotting on 05.12.2011. Well, at least both of us think it looks like spotting. I almost broke down. I remember when my sister miscarried, she spotted first before she bled. I straight away called Nurse H and within 15 minutes, we arrived at the clinic. I am so glad the clinic is nearby!

I was given an oil based progestrone injection, on my butt cheek :) Ok, it hurts and it continues to hurt for the next few days. We then went in to see Dr Prashant. He looked so calm. He told me that spotting is normal and 25% of women who are pregnant experienced some spotting. Thank God the scan reveals that the baby is well, the size is 8.2mm with a heartbeat of 160bpm. I was at the clinic a few days ago when the baby was only 6.5mm with a heartbeat of 139bpm. Wow! I am glad, relieved....so this is how it feels to become a mother. You worry constantly about your child. I hope my baby will stay ok. We have came this far, insyaAllah we will make it. I have faith in you baby!

Btw, i ordered a pregnancy journal from the States. i cannot wait to receive the journal soon! i want to start writing in my personal diary, only for my baby's eyes! Sneak preview:

At 7 weeks

We heard the most beautiful sound today, our baby's heartbeats :) Thank you God! At 139bpm, our baby is 6.5mm at 7 weeks old. I could see the heart flickering on the screen, our precious! The grandparents are very excited, the uncles and aunties too! What more the parents ;) My husband has been singing since then...

(Btw, our baby is the white bean inside the black sac!)

I still remember a few months ago when the first scan photo which i got from Dr P was a copy of my Polyps photo. How devastating. And then came the IVF photo, after the egg transfer. And today, I am grateful that we are able to see our baby's photo, growing inside me, our miracle. Our singleton, our baby...

My symptoms - no more cramping BUT hello morning sickness. I only vomit once in awhile but the nausea is making me uncomfortable. It is not as bad as other people's experience, I hope it will go away soon. The doc prescribe me with Obimin plus continuing Utrogestan and Duphaston. But we can stop taking Progynyva now. I have decided to stick with folic acid until the end of my first trimester, then only I will take Obimin. My reason is to make sure my morning sickness won't be getting worse since Obimin might increases the chance of nausea etc. Anyway, the total cost for today is RM667. The Obimin is quite expensive i think.

I've started thinking about looking for a new gynae. I really really wanted to stay with Dr Prashant but Dr Prashant now only focuses on fertility. FYI, starting from next year, a female Chinese Doctor from HUKM will be joining Dr Prashant's team, focusing on gynaecology. She will help you to deliver at Pantai Hospital but i cannot remember her name even though she was mentioned to me hehe. So after 12 weeks, I have to find a new gynae :( I'm thinking of Dr Seri from PCMC....what do you think?

I will write soon after our 9 weeks check-up in 2 weeks time. I am continuing my prayers for my baby's health and mine....please stay baby, i really want to see you and hold you in my arms...HEALTHY, soon! :) My expected due date is 16/07/2012, LONG WAY to go but insyaAllah all will be ok. I was positive when i was on IVF and i will keep on being so! Thank you God...

At 5 weeks +++

Hello, I'm back! :)

As I have mentioned in my previous entry, I will continue writing until the end of my first trimester. In my 5th week, I have been having sleepless nights. My AF like cramp normally kicks in at 2 or 4 o'clock in the morning! It happens during the day too. They are not too painful but enough to keep me awake, making me feel sorry for myself...so I pray quietly alone at night or munch some crackers to make the pain go away. They normally work, thank God :)

I know 2ww is hard, but getting through the first semester is harder for me. I worry all the time. When I am not in pain, I wonder if the baby is ok. But when I am in pain, I started to worry about the possibility of miscarriage ....I need to snap out of this I know, but it is so hard, harder than I thought. I feel blessed and I am not complaining, but I need to stop worrying but I just don't know how :(

Now at 5 weeks ++, my cramp is not as frequent as the last week but I am very very emotional. I cried at the smallest things - hubby came home late, reading about poor people, no one offers me food, uncooperative committees for an event that I am organising etc. I'm quite warm too, almost all the time with increase cm down there. I miss having sex with my husband but looks like he in enjoying this one way pleasure, hmmmmph!

I hope next week will be better and I hope my baby is doing great...Please pray for us! And I am thinking of all of you, my readers of your TTC journey...my thoughts and prayers are always with you...

My Beta Test Result

Dear Readers,

We are 4 weeks old today, Alhamdulillah. My beta was 279 and we hope we can hear our baby's first heart beat in 2.5 weeks time. Thank you for your support, it means the world to me even though we have never met. I have been in your shoes, I thought I will never fall pregnant. But Alhamdulillah I did. My singleton decided to stay...We are very grateful.

When we were trying to conceive, as much as I feel happy about other people's pregnancy, I couldn't help feeling sad for myself and wishing to be in their shoes. Therefore, I will only blog until my first trimester. InsyaAllah, I will be with Dr Prashant for the first trimester and after that, I believe he will recommend me to other gynae. Hopefully, we will make it :) I will not go into details about how we received our good news but I want to share the below with you.

If you are trying to conceive naturally:
- Start taking folic acid and vitamin c 3 months before trying.
- Use the ovulation kit
- Doa Doa and Doa (pray)
- Talk to each other about how you feel, Husband and Wife

If you decide to go to see a fertility specialist:
- Do your homework, choose a doc who you feel comfortable with, a clinic which makes you feel like you are almost at home and not too far from your house.
- Be mentally prepared. I am terrified of needles but the worst part is still the waiting game, it was mentally challenging.

If you are in your 2ww:
- you can never tell whether you are pregnant or not until beta test. I felt like my AF was on the way. But to keep you sane, do read online about other people's experience on their 2ww. It helps.
- only 48 hours of bed rest is needed. Go out, have fun, relax but no sex, no exercise and no heavy lifting.
- I read Surah Mariam and the tafsir for the first 1 week after the transfer and the last 2 days before my beta while rubbing my tummy. No body told me to do it but the meaning of the Surah is so beautiful.
- in every prayers, pray that Allah give life to my embryo and hoping the embryo will be in a good health and the baby will be a good person. Also pray that my husband and I will be good parents to our child.

If you find out you are pregnant:
- Remember those who help you to get pregnant, especially God.
- Think of the people who are still trying. We have been there, we know how it feels. Not easy but we understand.

My journey doesn't end here. InsyaAllah, if my pregnancy goes well, a year after, I will go for my FET. We know now we cannot conceive naturally, so I will be back. For now, I hope and pray for Allah's blessing that my pregnancy will go well. Once again, thank you very very much for reading and for your help, I really appreciate it. I hope you will get your BFP soon. InsyaAllah.

IVF - 11dpt3dt

Hi :)

Nope, I have not done hpt. I figured, if it is positive, I can be happy forever but if it is negative, why start feeling sad so early when I can delay the feeling until Saturday? So I am going to wait and see :)

Lately I have been feeling pretty tired and sleepy. But it has to be because I have not been doing any exercise lately. Other than lazing around, shopping trip, visiting friends and relatives, I have done nothing else. Boring...I will go back to work soon, I'm so tired of doing nothing.

AF cramp comes and go but not too bad. I felt the cramp this morning for an hour, then the cramp is gone. Normally, near my AF, I will have cramp plus one or two pimple. So far, no pimple on my face but I have one near my armpit that last for 2 days only. Now it is gone. So every morning, I wake up and straight away look for a mirror to check for pimples hehe.

Im taking a break from writing until my beta test this Saturday. My mother told me a story about a friend who went through IVF 4 times, no success. I am so scared. I can't think now, I hope God will help her and give her the strength to go through this hard time. I believe God is fair...I look forward to Saturday, the waiting is killing me but I will wait :) not too long now!

IVF - 8dpt3dt

Hello hello,

I have been ill since yesterday. Running nose plus mild fever and slight sore throat. I took 2 paracetamols yesterday and been drinking lots of water. I am worried that it might affects the embryo but at this stage, if pregnancy were meant to be, the implantation should have been completed. I am feeling much better now even though not 100% recovered...very worried still.

I have no symptoms I think. The cramping is almost gone but I do feel tired since last 2 days. Maybe cause I was ill...my sore breasts is almost gone too. Basically, I have explanations for all the symptoms, so that is why I think i have no pregnancy symptoms. This morning I had my breakfast at 11 and by 130pm I was very hungry. But it was lunch time anyway. Hmmmm

I am thinking of doing a home pregnancy test tomorrow or maybe Wednesday. What do you think? Dr P said the result may not be accurate, so he suggests Wednesday should be ok if I want to do hpt of which the result will be confirmed this Saturday when I do my blood test. should I?

So far, all signs point towards no sign of pregnancy :( So I am preparing for the worst but hoping for the best! InsyaAllah, we will be ok.

xoxo

IVF - 5dpt3dt

Hello,

I am approaching day 6 of my 2 weeks wait. Time flies pretty quick. We went to see Dr Prashant today. The wait was longer than usual, it was an hour wait. Dr P did a quick scan on my uterus and ovaries, the scan was on my tummy, so pants on ;) Uterus looks ok despite my worry about the leaking progesterone. My left ovary is bigger than my right but that is normal as I probably have more eggs in my left ovary. We froze 3 of my embryos, 8 cells which are of great qualities. My meeting with Dr Prashant was brief. If this cycle fails, I can start FET in January 2012...I'm staying positive but I have to prepare for the worst too.

Dr P prescribe me with Progynova 2 tablets a day :) Progynova is a synthetic hormone replacement for oestrogen. It is used to build up the lining of the uterus in preparation for embryo transfer or after ET. Side effects are uncommon, but breast tenderness, gastric upset, nausea, headaches and an increase in bodyweight have been reported. We shall wait n see :)

My 2 weeks wait so far. No symptom at all. Well, yes, still minor lower abdominal pain but I know that is from the eggs retrieval. I actually felt like I'm going to get my menses. I was reading online about other people's experience but for me, nothing. The only feeling is gassy. I actually have been farting like crazy (blush!). Pity hubby ;) but again, that is the side effect from ER. So to report, no symptom pointing towards pregnancy. I am so sad. I never fall pregnant but not even getting the chance to feel pregnant... :(

I will write again soon, until then Selamat Hari Raya Haji to my Muslim readers :)

IVF - Egg Transfers Day

Hello dear readers,

We made the biggest decision today, well biggest throughout our IVF journey. We transferred a SINGLETON, during a 3-day-cycle. You see, when I left the house, I thought let's go with two even though my mom and MIL think one is enough since I am still young and also because I have a small size body. But on my way there, I looked at the people around me...I want my child to grow healthily. I want a baby so badly but I definitely want a healthy baby. Last night, I read a story about a woman who was 21 weeks pregnant with twins and she lost them at 22 weeks with no reason. She is quite small, like me. I honestly will go mental if that happens to me...if it is going to be a negative, I'd rather it be in 2 weeks than 22 weeks....so this is the story of what happened today :) our story...

I changed my clothes and hubby did the same. The IVF lab is next to the clinic on the same floor. Me, with full bladder, and feeling like bursting, I saw Dr P came into the OT. Boy what a relief to see him. Dr P told us that I have 4 very good embryos of Grade 2. 2 with 8 cells and 2 with 6 cells. The rest are good embryos at grade 3 and 4, they might turn into grade 2 in 2 days time. I was disappointed that I didn't have any grade 1 but per the embryologists, who are very very kind, they rarely seen grade 1 embryos. So i guess i am ok. Dr P also mentioned about 5 days transfer called blastocyst. Know what that is? :)

A paper published in 2008 concluded that selective single blastocyst transfer in women with a good chance of becoming pregnant can reduce the chances of having a multiple pregnancy after IVF while maintaining the overall likelihood of becoming pregnant.

Other recent evidence suggests that transferring a single blastocyst on day 5 of in vitro culture is associated with a higher clinical pregnancy rate, compared with transfer of a single cleavage-stage embryo. Culturing the embryos until day 5 helps embryologists to identify the embryos most likely to result in a successful pregnancy. You should also bear in mind that if you opt for blastocyst transfer:

1) you may not get any embryos that develop to the blastocyst stage.
2) there may also be fewer embryos to freeze.

I was confused. So when Dr P gave us an option to go to the toilet and pee and decide later, hubby straight away said yes ;) what a relief to be able to pee. I had our discussion with hubby and we decided on a singleton today :) we plan to freeze the next 3 which make it to day 5. Crazy I know but we have made up our mind. The Egg transfer is quick and painless but embarrassing. I had to open my legs as wide as possible. When the embryo was transferred, I felt like a water bubble pop inside my uterus and it is done. Yeay!

Hubby was in tears of joy, I kept myself strong. I know I am not pregnant yet but it is so beautiful. The tiny white bean is in my uterus. If you look at the photos attached, the small white bean in my uterus, near the lining is our embryo. Can you see it? We could see it the moment Dr P showed us the screen. I straight away asked for a copy of the photo for us to keep. This is the first time my egg and hubby's sperm met up in my uterus. How wonderful :) I am very happy today...I just saw the most beautiful thing in my whole life. Call me crazy but I love that bean ;) I smiled and thank Dr Prashant :)

After 10 minutes laying down, I rushed to the loo and took a rest in the recovery room for the next 40 minutes before we went home. We had steamboat at home for lunch (thanks mom!) and now, I am going to be in bed for the next 48 hours :) I will be seeing Dr P again this Friday for a scan of my uterus lining. I hope the uterus is doing great...and I hope the progesterone is helping.

I am now officially in my 2 weeks waiting period, praying that our singleton will make it :) I am also praying that my eggs in the lab are doing great as I want them in the future. I want my baby to have siblings, hopefully we can have 3 or 4 kids....I'm dreaming now ;) What a day...

May God help us ;)

IVF - The Day Before

I went out today ;) I was bored out of my mind. It is Sunday after all. So hubby took me out for lunch at our favorite starwood hotel but I couldn't eat as much as usual. I'm still prety sore from the ER procedure. But I still enjoyed our lunch anyway :) I have a small body, 49kgs at 165cm but I eat like a 65kgs person....

Yesterday I had choc sundae from mcD. Bad move. Cold stuffs is not recommended after ER. It makes you more bloated. NY lower abdominal pain has reduced but it s still quite sore. Soi am taking things easy and now, I'm home...in our bed. Hubby is playing badminton with my parents but I am too tired to move. So here I am, blogging and watching gossip girl online ;)

I wanted to write about UtRogestan. This is the hormone tablets which need to be inserted in your vagina. I browsed the net for information but could not find the tips other then 'insert them into your vagina'. Hmmmm. So ok, not helpful at all. Maybe none of you have any problems with this since we are all married or engage in healthy sexual activities. But the only thing that has ever entered my vagina is my husband's penis. I have never ever finger myself before. So I was pretty scared and nervous as I do not want to know how it feels inside, down there...

So what I did... I open my legs as wide as possible after washing my hands and slowly I insert the pill one by one. I only managed to go in as far as slightly more than half of my finger, about 75%, even though Nurse H said one finger. My reason is because I have long finger, so 75% is good enough, I hope. Also, I am too afraid to go deeper. The feeling in there are wet and small. How is a baby going to make it out of my vagina? :( super scared....

I do have one or 2 spots of leakage, hence wearing panty liners help. I also noticed whitish residue in my urine. I am worried that I haven't gone deep enough and I might not get enough progesterone for implantation. I guess I shall find out tomorrow whether I have done it right :)

I hope tomorrow goes alright and I can hold my bladder without any embarrassing incident ;) Amin...xoxo

IVF - The Day After

15 eggs retrieved, 10 fertilized...

Let's hope we have good quality embryos by Monday. I feel sad for my 5 immature eggs, hmmm. I'm having less cramping today but since the pain is still there, I decided to stay in bed today. Have a good weekend everyone!

IVF - Eggs Retrieval Day

Hello ladies...and gents maybe? :)

We got 15 eggs today. More than expected but it is about quality, not quantity. So I am still pretty nervous to find out about them tomorrow on how many turn out to be embryos and on Monday, on the quality og my eggs. So nervous but I am glad we went through today ok.

We arrived at the clinic at 720am and by 745am, the Anaesthetist came to see me and poke that plastic tube in my left hand. Nurse H and S came to wish me luck at 8am. How nice of them. And then Dr Prashant came in at 810am to say hello. By 820am, I was pushed into the OT. There were about 10 people in the OT and the next thing I know, I was back in the ward, the gorgeous 5 stars ward.

A point to note, hubby went home and produced his sperm while I was in the OT. Thank God we live nearby ;)

I looked at the clock and it was 845am. Pretty quick. I was very sleepy. I could hear hubby's voice but decided to sleep anyway. No pain at all. By 10am, I was wide awake. Had my breakfast and changed into my clothes. By 1045am, we were back at Dr Prashant's clinic. Nurse H gave us the medications for the next few days. I need to continue Zinnat but I was given the below as well in addition:

1) Dastinex 1 tablet each night for 3 nights
2) start Utrogestan tablets tonight. It is inserted into the vagina 2 tablets 3 times a day for the next 15 days.
3) start the Duphaston tablets tomorrow.

Sounds heavy I know. But I am glad to report that so far, I only have light spotting and minor lower abdominal pain. I was pretty scared of the pain as I have read the bad experiences some people had to go through. I hope my light pain will go away slowly because I have made plans for the weekend with hubby :)

On the sedation - my hand still hurt from the plastic thingy. The one done at Pantai when i did my Hysteroscopy was better. And on top of that, while I was asleep, they gave me a jab of pain killer on my left arm and another jab near my vagina to reduce the pain. But I didn't feel the jobs at all as I was in drwamland then ;) So don't worry!

On Monday is the Eggs transfer day. We have a major decision to make this weekend. How many eggs should we transfer? See, my mom and MIL seem to be suggesting that 1 is enough. Hubby wants 3 but I already put my foot down that no to 3 as I can only handle a maximum of 2 babies at one time. Also, I read about the risks associated with multiple pregnancies, on both the mother and the babies. Pretty scary stuffs. But per Dr P, the chance with 1 egg transfer is 40% but with 2 is 67%. However, young couple normally prefer 1 egg rather than 2. So where does that leave me? Pretty confused. For now, I just hope and pray that my eggs and my hubby's sperm survived the thawing procedure. But come Monday, we need to decide on the number to be transferred. This is hoping my eggs are of good quality...let's hope we have good number of eggs to be transferred and frozen for future use. InsyaAllah..

Please let me know what do you think on the number of eggs. Financially, we can handle 2 or 3 babies. Emotionally, the joy of having a baby of my own is already a blessing. But the health issues and miscarriage just scare me....I do not want to be greedy and put my babies at risk. I wanted the best for my child, if I have one or more, one day. All mothers want that for their children right? :)

Talk to me on your opinion please, if you are reading this....thank you.

xoxo

IVF - Starting Zinnat Today

Oh my! My first day without injections. Bliss! ;)

Pampering day was really nice other than spending too much money on my body. I spent 2.5 hours at the spa and 1.5 hours doing mani pedi. No nail polish, just cleaning and getting rid of my cuticles. So now, I am home, waiting for hubby to come back from work. Rindu!

My breasts are still sore but I really look forward to tomorrow. I have started packing, well by packing I mean packing the admission letter, a pad, small towel and the syringe from yesterday's jabs as I need to return them to the clinic. Tomorrow will be a quick shower with no soap etc. I have taken a long shower today, so hopefully I smell ok tomorrow. I feel quite good actually. I mean braziliaan wax done, spa done, mani pedi done, IVF costs paid. I'm ready :) I'm blessed since I haven't start working. I have no work stress. Only baby stress, if such thing exists ;) I am such a drama queen!

Everyday, when I look at my husband, I imagine a baby with his look. He is so adorable in my eyes. He will be a good dad, I am sure. But can I be a good mom? Hmmm.....He spoils me too much, well at least that is what my girlfriends and my families think of us anyway. Since we got married, he makes everything easy for me. From the simplest thing to opening my door and carrying my shopping bags to things such as holding my hands when I was in pain in the middle of the night and accompanying my every visit to the toilets for the first 1 month we moved into our new place because I was scared. Very patient that man, I am telling you! He is a keeper :) Alhamdulillah...

I hope we will get through IVF ok. I really hope so. To my readers, thank you for your support, thank you for being my inspiration to stay strong and for reminding me that I am not alone in this world facing these nightmares. Really, Thank You :)

xoxo

IVF - Eight Injection (LAST!)

Happy Deepavali to my readers who celebrate Diwali :)

I had a good day today. My last 2 injections were done at my house by my cousin who is a specialist ie oncologist. Wow, finally, no more IVF jabs (hopefully my last!) Hubby was busy with meetings today, so I went out with my girlfriends for tea at Wondermilk. Good day Alhamdulillah.

I am starting to feel unfomfortable today. I have been getting more and more discharge and my breasts are in pain! The nipples feel like they are about to explode. Wearing my bra is far from comfortable. Uncomfortable to the max! :( hubby is joking about sex but I am so not up to it. The boobs feel bigger but very very sore....how long is this going to last? :(

Starting from tomorrow I will be taking an antibiotic calls Zinnat for 4 days. Tomorrow is pampering day before our ER. I am going to the spa and mani pedi while hubby is at work. Bliss!

My last jab, the Ovidrel was taken at 830pm. Which means in 36 hours, I will be in the OT for the Eggs Retrieval procedure, insyaAllah. Btw Ovidrel is used in fertility treatment cycles to help follicles mature and trigger the release of mature eggs from a woman's ovaries following treatment with products containing the human follicle stimulating hormone. Hence, the jab is needed for ER this Friday :)

Praying for the best now...

xoxo

IVF - Seventh Injections

What a day today...

I went to the clinic for my 2 injections and then went to see Dr Prashant for a quick scan. Glad to see some of my eggs (or do we call them follicles?) are developing well but also disappointed to see some of the eggs not developing. I am a bit worried but Dr Prashant kept on stressing on the importance of quality rather than quantity. That is a relief. Per Dr P, the American ways would prefer generating lots of eggs but the eggs are not of the best qualities. But he prefers the European way which concentrate on quality. I have been given low dose of Puregon of 150 every day but still able to produce a good number of eggs due to my age. Alhamdulillah.

After the scan, I gave Dr Prashant a Deepavali card, well for him and the gang at KL Fertility. Dr P thank me with a big smile on his face :) He then asked me to do a blood test to see my Progestrone level and come back within an hour. I then went to see Nurse H and she said that I could come back before 4pm as I had my facial appointment booked in the afternoon. How nice of her! Before I left the clinic, we went to register for the Eggs Retrieval day administration which could either be on Friday or Saturday, depending on my blood test result. We registered at Level 5, then did a blood test at level 3A before driving straight to Bangsar since Hubby had a meeting and me rushing for my Brazilian wax :)

We came back to the clinic at 330pm and found out that the Progesterone level is at 1.4, which means that the ER will be on Friday. One day earlier than planned! Wow :) Before we left, for the first time, I got to bring home the IVF blue bag which contains the last set of injections for tomorrow - 2 jabs tomorrow. My cousin will help us with the injections since the clinic is close. And oh, my cousin is a Doctor. I don't trust anyone else to do the jobs. Terrible of me, I know!

In total, including tomorrow, I have 8 days of injections. I left the clinic with a big hope, hoping that our ivf will be successful. But I am nervous too. I hope I can handle it if the result is negative....

Anyway, in preparation for our ER, I have booked a day at the spa and mani pedi on Thursday to de-stress myself. Hubby cannot say no to my expensive spending this month and I am going to enjoy every bit of it while I still can ;)

Until tomorrow...I am off to dreamland. HAPPY DEEPAVALI!

xoxo

IVF - Sixth Injection

Hello hello dear readers,

I survived my next 2 jabs today and we paid the total cost for our IVF with ICSI of RM15,500. What a relief to finally able to pay such a big amount. Let's not think about the credit card bill yet but I am glad that the clinic has now accepted credit card payment with no extra charge.

One thing about KL Fertility, they didn't put any pressure into asking about when I am going to make a payment. Unlike some clinics which straight away send you the bills before you even start any treatment. It is a big amount of money but all IVF patients at private clinics know you need to spend at least 20k for the whole package...big hope, big money! ;)

I am meeting Dr Prashant tomorrow for my second scan. Let's hope everything is on track. Really need to stay positive now :)

I took a nap for 2 hours after the injections today. I have been quite tired lately. I'm going for my facial and waxing tomorrow. Hopefully I won't be too tired then. Hubby has mved his business meetings at the cafes in the same mall, so he will be nearby if I need him. Such a comforting feeling.

It is going to rain again soon...I just got home from lunch with my mom ad her friend. I think I need my second nap now. Very tired dee...

xoxo

IVF - Fifth Injection

Good afternoon everyone :)

I had breakfast with my girlfriends at 830 today. While hubby was still in dreamland, I crawled out of bed and drove to TTDI. It feels good to see them even though they had no idea about my IVF. Only my family members know about my IVF anyway. How odd, one of them mentioned a colleague of hers who is 42 years old, went through IVF and now pregnant with triplets and another girl at 32 is pregnant via IVF too. I listen with great interest but kept the extra thrill for the 2 ladies to myself :) there are hopes everywhere ladies! :)

Alhamdulillah, I survived 2 jabs today. TWO! For someone who is scared of the needles, I'm pretty proud of myself. The first one was the Puregon, 150 iu which was done on the left side of my tummy and the second one was the Orgalutran 0.25mg, I think, which was done on the right. The first injection was more painful but the effect of the second jab was stronger.

Dr P was around as well today. He did a scan of my uterus and the uterus looks good. He also noted 5 eggs on each side of my ovaries. All together about 10 eggs. I was pretty disappointed because I read a few blogs and they all have 15 to 19 eggs. I started thinking whether I am a good candidate for IVF. So depressing! But I think Dr P could read my mind. He said that 10 eggs is good as we don't want to put too much pressure on my ovaries and we do not want to waste the eggs. I am hoping the 10 eggs are healthy eggs...I really hope so. Per Nurse H, if too many eggs, it may cause pain and nausea which are quite severe at later stage. For now, I am going to take the experts words to avoid worrying too much at this stage. I need to be calm :)

Btw sex is safe during IVF, so are spa, waxing, shaving :) I've checked with Dr P!

The expected date of my eggs retrieval is next Saturday and my last injection should be next Thursday. Wow, I'm almost there...Alhamdulillah

I am going to need some rest now. I am starting to sneeze and mild fever has started to kick in. Nurse H did say I may feel extra tired today. I have full plans but cancelled everything except for dinner as I think I should rest in bed today....really need to get better at taking care of myself.

Until tomorrow, have a good weekend everyone!

xoxo

IVF - Fourth Injection

Good Morning,

Thank you God, the fourth injection at the clinic went well. The clinic was not too crowded today. I was supposed to see the Dr today and did the injection on our own tomorrow but luck is on our side. Dr P needs to be in the clinic tomorrow for a procedure. Therefore, I will be seeing Dr P tomorrow morning and Nurse H will be doing the injection for me. Alhamdulillah :) So I told my Auntie who is a Doctor that she doesn't have to wake up early to inject me tomorrow but I might need her help during Deepavali :)

Btw, I have decided to do my facials and Brazilian wax next week. My next question, of which I forgot to ask Nurse H is, is it ok to have intercourse between now and the transfer? Poor hubby! ;) Anyone knows?

So far, my side effects of the injections are mild headache and lethargic feeling. Not too bad I guess. I am getting a bit nervous now. It is already the 4th day of the treatment. Hubby is getting more excited as days go by. I am worried that it might break his heart if this turns out to be unsuccessful. I pray to God for some strength to go through the outcome. Even if it is a positive, we need to be strong to accept the responsibilities as parents. Sacrifices need to be made - less luxury for mummy and daddy and more for the babies. Therefore, whatever the outcome, please God give us the strength to go through them.

Have a good weekend everyone!

IVF - Third Injection

Hello Hello :)

I did my third injection today without the ice. A bit painful but the pain only lasted 1 minute. So it was fine. We took the injection 30 minutes earlier since Hubby had a meeting in KL today, so he had to rush for his meeting.

I have no plans yet for today. A friend invited me to go out for lunch but I don't feel like driving to KL for lunch on Friday. Plus tonight, we are having dinner at my in laws. So I might just chill at home today and catch up on my reading.

Oh btw, last night I felt slight discomfort near my tummy area. Almost like constipation. Also a bit of headache. I asked the nurse today and she said that is common. I am a bit nervous of hyper ovarian syndrome since it normally affects younger women. Since I am still in my 20s, I need to be extra careful. Below are some of the useful information about the syndrome.

Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome

Ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome (OHSS) is the most serious consequence of induction of ovulation, as part of assisted conception techniques.

It may occur after stimulation of the ovaries into superovulation with drugs such as human chorionic gonadotrophin (hCG) and human menopausal gonadotrophin. It is rare with clomifene except in polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS).

Many women with OHSS will be seen by doctors unfamiliar with the condition. This is because assisted conception treatment frequently takes place outside hospitals and also because serious OHSS is uncommon. Education and good communication are particularly important in providing safe and effective care to women with OHSS.


Epidemiology
Despite careful monitoring, a mild degree of ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome (OHSS) occurs in 33% of in vitro fertilisation (IVF) cycles.
A moderate degree occurs in as many as 3-5% of treatment cycles.
It may be severe in 1 or 2% of IVF cycles.

Risk factors
Polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS) greatly increases the risk.
Younger women are at greater risk.
High oestrogen levels and a large number of follicles.
The use of hCG for luteal phase support.
Administration of gonadotrophin-releasing hormone (GnRH) agonist. GnRH antagonists can be used within the treatment cycle to suppress the production of gonadotrophins and, in doing so, they shorten the treatment cycle.

Presentation
The diagnosis of ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome (OHSS) is based on clinical criteria and therefore clinicians should be aware of the signs and symptoms:

Symptoms usually appear 4 or 5 days after harvesting of eggs.
There is abdominal pain and distension due to accumulation of fluid.
In 1 or 2% of cases with very enlarged ovaries, the patient is ill with severe pain, nausea and vomiting.
There may also be pleural effusions with fluid passing from the abdomen into the pleural cavity.
Extravasation of fluid can cause haemoconcentration and hypercoagulability with risk of thrombosis.
If a woman (who is undergoing IVF treatment) presents with severe bloating, nausea and vomiting, shortness of breath and reduced urine output, urgent assessment in hospital is required.

Investigations
Careful monitoring of the ovaries by ultrasound during treatment is mandatory. The rate of growth of follicles is measured and treatment is cut back if stimulation seems excessive.

IVF - Second Injection

I survived the second injection :)

This time, we put some ice around the area for the injection. You are right, hardly feel anything as the area was pretty numb. However, the after effect was not that comfortable. Once the numbness is gone, I could feel the sharp pain near the injection area. Ouch...

To be honest, you cannot avoid the uncomfortable feeling. It is either you feel the pain when you do the injection or 5 minutes after. simple! :)

Btw Dr P is back in the clinic now. He came to say hi to me and gave a quick laugh knowing that I could not do the injection on my own. I get that a lot! ;) I will be seeing him on Saturday. Until then, I have another date at the clinic for my third injection tomorrow..I'm excited!

I had lunch with a friend at Kura, One world today. It ia a very good Japanese restaurant and the price is quite reasonable. I also renewed my passport today. Quite a productive day. And tonight, is dinner with my girlfriends :) it is a good day today, Alhamdulillah!

Btw, I am planning to go for my facial and Brazilian wax next week. Anyone knows whether it is ok to do both while undergoing IVF? Any advice is welcome!

Speak soon!

xoxo

IVF - First Injection

Good morning!

I am in a very good mood today. Alhamdulillah the first jab went well. Nurse H helped us with the injection and she will be doing so everyday for us except Sunday since the clinic is close. How was the injection?

Well, the 150 Puregon was not bad. The pain was bearable. The only thing was the sensation in my tummy area after the injection. We did the injection while standing. It feels good now that we have started the procedure.

I will be seeing Dr Prashant this Saturday for the injection and a scan. If everything is ok, we will then continue with the rest of the IVF procedure. I hope everything will turn out alright. My husband especially is very excited and full with hope. He has even started dreaming of having twins! ;) For me, I hope one day I will have my own child to love....he or she will be perfect in my eyes, no matter what :) even if I have to adopt a child, the child will be my life....my son, my daughter. Ok, I'm being sentimental now. Hehe

Thank you very much for the support that you have given me. It means so much to us. If you are going through the same journey, be strong and have faith. There are the ups and downs but as long as you are not alone, you will be fine :)

I have a lunch date soon and a dinner plan tonight. So excited!

xoxo

Blood Test

My weekend started with a blood test to check on my hormone level. So hubby and i went to the clinic at 9am on Saturday morning, looking very sleepy. Finished everything in 15 minutes and made our way to Village Park for the best nasi lemak in town :)

While we were there, Nurse H called and told us that the result is good and as expected. We can start our first IVF injection on Wednesday. Good to know we can finally start. Hopefully all will go well, insyaAllah.

Today in Sunday and i am down with flu. Seriously frustrated! i have been drinking lots of water to make sure i am fit to start our ivf this Wednesday. I blame my hectic badminton and swimming session yesterday! Swimming in the rain is not good for health and i was stupid enough to jump into the pool.

Lesson for today - No swimming before IVF

Gynera

I am on Gynera now, a type of OCP. I started doing some research on the reason and found the below :)

Convenience is a factor that contributes to a woman's general peace of mind and health. But from a clinician's point of view, the ability to time the IVF process is also crucial.
Dr. Pinkas explains, "One of the main drawbacks in treating infertility is timing a woman's body with the clinic's schedule, so we can get as many mature eggs as possible. IVF clinics can be extremely busy. With a proven and safe method for timing when a woman can undergo therapy, there is a lot less stress placed on the physicians' shoulders too."
Normally doctors start the IVF treatment from the moment a woman gets her period. But the use of birth control pills, for 10-14 days after a period, allows the treatment to be adjusted without compromising the "ovarian response to stimulation," says Dr. Pinkas. This way, egg-harvesting can fall on a date mutually convenient to both the clinician and patient.

Source: http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/03/080324173530.htm

IVF - Appointment No 1

Hubby left for away jobs in the East Cost at 6am. I went back to sleep after saying good bye. So sad for both of us...

My MIL and my mom accompanied me to my first IVF appointment. I was nervous, yet excited too. The clinic was pretty empty when we got there. It was a relief :)

We went in to see Dr Prashant at 12 noon. He straight away started scanning my uterus and we saw 8 eggs in my right ovary and 5 in my left. Pretty normal I guess.

But Dr P couldn't start my IVF. I was quite frustrated as I was very excited about starting my IVF. However, I understand Dr P's concern. He will be away from the 17th-18th of Oct. Therefore, we have to postpone the IVF until he comes back.

He gave me the OCP to be taken every night starting from today until Saturday of which I need to come for a blood test. The plan is then to start the IVF on the 20th. Reason being as below:

Birth control pills or, more correctly, oral contraceptive pills (OCPs) can be used as a part of the IVF stimulation protocol in several different settings. First, in patients who are known or suspected to be high responders, OCPs may help mitigate the risk of ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome.

Second, which is in my case, in patients without predictable regular menstrual cycles, OCPs can be used in combination with Lupron to initiate an IVF cycle. They uusually start OCPs in such cases after confirming with a blood test that the woman has not recently ovulated. Then, after 1 week, they add Lupron. After 1 more week, they stop the Lupron and wait for withdrawal bleeding. Once a patient has bled, they begin the gonadotropin stimulation.

We are hoping that IVF is still happening this month as I need to go back to work soon. On the bright side, hubby will be with me throughout the process as no more outstation until next month. Yeeeeeeeeeeehaaaaaa!

Btw, I started to realise that I have readers from all over the world. While this may seem like child’s play to some of you, it’s a really big deal to me.  Since I started, my average readers are only from Malaysia. Now I have readers from the States, Asia Pacific, Australia etc. So drop me a line.  Let me know you were here.  Tell me about yourself and your journey.  Kinda like a blind date…but not as cheesy.  I’d love to hear from you.  And maybe I can stop by your place too.  Have your people call my people :)

Ps: Today's visit is free of charge, superb! :)

Our IVF journey begins

At 532pm yesterday, I was in a state of shock when my period came early. 28 days! Wow! And no period pain, no pimples and the AF arrived. I guess this is one of the benefit of doing hysteroscopy. I am now on a normal cycle again. Great!

I straight away called the clinic and scheduled an appointment with Dr Prashant on Monday. This means, my first IVF injection will be on Monday. I am super duper nervous. Mainly because hubby will be away on Monday and Tuesday. So I will be alone for my first appointment. I hope it goes out alright. After all, we plan to get the nurse to do the injection every day since my house is only 5 minutes away. I am so scared of needles. Really!

I am so excited to start my IVF. I have been telling myself these past few months that if our angel is through IVF, I am willing to go through anything for her/him. But if it fails, we will start looking into adoption. I am sure, somewhere out there, God has chosen an angel to be raised by my husband and I. So I am pretty excited :) whatever the result will be, I hope we will be ok. InsyaAllah.

If you are reading this and thinking about doing an IVF, I would say give it a go.

I will write more after Monday. Have a good weekend!! :)

Blog of the Week

I came across the blog below and finds it inspirational, have a read :)

http://latebloomer13.wordpress.com/2009/11/12/and-so-it-begins/

Hysteroscopy

So my polyp was still there. We went to see Dr Prashant at 1115am and by 12 noon, we headed straight to Pantai, after informing our families. No charge for the scan but the procedure at Pantai costs us RM3,200.00. Yep, it is expensive. I was feeling ok to do the procedure even though i was quite positive the night before that the polyp is gone. Hubby on the other hand was nervous. The poor guy seemed so scared...

After we have settled down at the Daycare Centre, one of the Nurse took my blood pressure, did some history check on my health and measured my weight. At 3pm, another Nurse came in and told us that it was time for the procedure. At this point in time, i was a bit nervous. Not of the procedure but of the needle. Boy i hate needles :( I could still remember the looked on hubby's face as they pushed me towards the OT. He looked scared. Me on the other hand, the journey towards the OT felt like forever. The feeling was exactly like in the movies where the patient lie still on the bed, staring at the ceiling and the white hospital lights. Just before i entered the OT room, the Anaestatist came to see me, had a small talk....overall, she seemed nice. The Nurse assured me that she was one of the best they have in the hospital. Well, good to know! The Anaes then prepared the drip/plastic thgy on my left hand for the GA drip. Frankly speaking, this was the most painful part of the procedure to me. Once done, it was still painful. I was in pain for about 15 minutes and in my heart, i was screaming, 'Where is Dr Prashant? i want to get this done Now'! Yes, i was such a drama queen. But it was painful!

15 minutes later, Dr Prashant came. Boy was i glad to see his face. He told me not to worry. We went into the OT room. There were 6 people around me. I was given an Oxygen through the mouth, they started putting wires on my chest, shoulders, back while at the same time, the Anaes started giving me my GA. I fell asleep probably around 330pm.

The scarriest part was when i woke up, hearing someone calling my name. At this stage, i could not open my eyes, i could not move and i could feel pain near my uterus. My mouth and throat hurt as well because of the oxygen pipe. I felt like choking. That lasted another 15 minutes. I was so scared. I thought i was paralysed. Then an angle came to my rescue and took out the pipe from my mouth. I started to recover slowly. I managed to open my eyes and moved my hands slowly. I felt really weak. They then pushed me to the Daycare where i saw my Hubby and families waiting for me. I started to feel calm again...

I recovered slowly. An hour later, had a bit of a drink and a cup of milo. Suddenly i felt really wet down there. Blood started flowing. According to the Nurse, it is normal as it is from the scaring of the procedure. Ouch. By 630pm, we headed home and i went to bed and woke up at 2pm the next day.

So that was my experience. It was not too bad but the recovery part is the worst. I am now homebound for 2 weeks according to my mom even though my Doc says 3 days is enough. I decided to play it safe and follow mom's advice. Especially since i wanted to start our IVF in 2 weeks time. So here i am, blogging from my bedroom. I have some friends visiting me soon, so I am excited. I am grateful for having wonderful friends and families. InsyaAllah, we will get through IVF alright.

Hysteroscopy is safe. Dr Prashant sent my polyp for biopsy, just to be on the safe side. If you are having second thought whether to do the procedure or not, my advice, do it.

A 'date' with Dr Prashant

'I couldn't see the growth. You uterus is not ready'

So we went home at no charge :) I am on day 11 of my 36 days cycle. So I have to come back on Wed morning for another scan and if Dr Prashant can see the polyps then, my surgery will be at 230pm on the same day! Bummer!

I can't wait to start my next cycle ie when I can start my IVF!!! :)

Back to reality

My dear readers,

Hope everyone is doing well. I just got back from my 5 weeks holiday. It was perfect! Other than the jet lag, I am feeling great and fat! So the plan is to go on a diet now...or maybe after the jet lag is over. Sounds like a good plan to me ;)

I am in day 9 of my cycle. The plan is to remove my polyps on day 13 ie next Wed. So on the 19th, I will be meeting Dr Prashant for a quick check up. Hopefully all go well and we can start our IVF in the next cycle, insyaAllah. At this stage, I am very excited to start IVF as I am feeling fresh and healthy. I know there is a higher chance that the IVF might fail but I need to try, at least once before we adopt a child.

Btw, I visited an old friend today who just gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. Can I have one please? :)

Take care, till next week :)

Long awaited break

Hello hello :)

Almost a month since my last update. Almost forgot that I have polyps and trying to conceive. I am trying to overcome this awful feeling of being infertile.

I have been doing a lot of baby clothes shopping. I couldn't resist it, baby clothes are just too cheap here. Rm6 for osh kosh clothes and rm20 for polo ralph lauren? Too cheap! If I couldn't have my own child, I can always give them to my sister in law or my sisters :) plus, a friend of mine just gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. So I did some shopping for the baby too! To be honest, I felt happy buying the clothes even though I know they are not for my own child....weird eh? ;)

Oh, I am away on holiday now. Far far away from home :) I am not looking forward to my polyps removal procedure which is scheduled on 21092011 but I will make sure I am ready when the time comes.

Anyway, next week is already hari raya. I would like to take this opportunity to wish my blogreaders Salam Aidilfitri and MaafZahir batin. I hope everyone is safe and happy...if you are trying to conceive like me, stay strong and keep on trying :)

Assalamualaikum and till next time :)

Approaching Ramadhan

Wow, I am glad I survived my last 3 days. I almost had a 'heart attack' on a shocking news but this blog is purely on my IVF journey. Enough to say, what I learnt is that not to worry about anything until it is proven to be a real problem. I almost forgot that I am trying to conceive! So we missed my subur period for this month hehe

I am now sorted and looking forward to Ramadhan and my trip overseas. So excited! My mom always tell me that your fate can be changed with doa. Ramadhan is my opportunity, so I am very very excited. We are also planning to go for Umrah next year insyaAllah. I haven't been there in years. My parents used to take me there when I was younger. My last visit was 10 years ago! Hubby has not been to Makkah, so maybe we should start saving and aim for Haj instead of Umrah? Hmmmm.....

If IVF does not work, I am going to use our next rezeki for Haj and I have started thinking about adoption. My friend from Middle East did mention about orphan babies who need adopted parents. I am so excited! I want one, I want to love one but I need a baby because I want to breast feed the child and make him/her mine. I am not giving up, really I am not. Hubby and I are still excited about IVF. Even if IVF is successful, insyaAllah I still want to adopt one. I have started googling about adoption process etc. Looking forward to the plan already!!!

My advice, at whatever stage you are in trying to conceive...stay strong! :) miracles do happen with doa!

My Polyps

I gave up on my Ipad and now using my Husband's lappy ;) The polyps which i mentioned is the bump in the photo, in between the two '+' signs. Normal women have a straight line in their uterus. Unfortunately for me, I am not normal.

Off to lunch with Mom and Hubby soon. Ttyl!

Second Assessment

I have Polyps.

Today marked the 13th day of my cycle. The scan shows a polyp of 8.1mm which needs to be removed. I am shocked, beyond words. I remained calm for hubby but deep in my heart...really God? Another test? Hmmmmm....I will be posting the pic of my polyps soon. I am still trying to figure out how to do so using iPad!

According to Dr Prashant, we need to remove the polyp in order to increase the chance of the success rate of our IVF procedure. If you want to know a short summary about polyp, I found the article below very useful :)

http://www.seattlepi.com/lifestyle/health/article/Ask-the-Mayo-Clinic-Is-polyp-removal-dangerous-1286504.php

I have booked for the Hysteroscopy to be done in September, hopefully a week before IVF. Why so close to IVF? Per Dr Prashant, the polyp could relapse. So best to wait until near the time before IVF.

For myself, I will be taking a break from TTC. Hubby and I are going traveling for a month. We need to get away from all these :) insyaAllah we will take full advantage of the coming Ramadhan. By the way, my summary for july :

1) I have polyps
2) My sister miscarriaged her twins
3) My other sister has cyst

Hoping it will be a better month next week, Amin!

Btw the cost for today is RM160

First Assessment

My cycle this month is 41 days! Around day 38, I actually thought of the possibility that I might be pregnant. How I wished that was true! But deep in my heart, I know that the possibility is remote. So come day 41, I bravely called Nurse H to schedule my appointment with Dr Prashant. Appointment set on 08072011 :)

The clinic is packed today. I walked in and started feeling uneasy. I have never done a scan during my period! I soooo hope it wouldn't get messy. We waited about 20 minutes before the Nurse called my name. Yeay, my turn!

Dr Prashant discussed with us about the procedure for today for about 5 minutes and then instructed me to go to the scanning room. To my relief, I only have one dot today....so it was not too messy ;) the scan was beautiful according to him! I have 8 eggs on one side and 7 eggs on the other side. The eggs looks amazing in my eyes. I couldn't forget the way the eggs move....I might sound like a crazy woman now but I was beyond relief when I heard that I have soo many eggs! The next step...blood test!

I hate needles, blood! Urghhhh! I was so scared and felt like throwing out but hubby was there throughout the whole process. So it was not so bad....we did the blood test at level 3A. I will be back to see Dr Prashant on the 18th of this month. I look forward to my next visit! I can't wait to get the process started...let's hope and pray my blood test shows a good result and that I am a good candidate for IVF :)

And Dr prescribed me with Tamoxifen to be taken for 5 days. The pills are supposed to help me with my ovulation. Since my cycle is unpredictable, seems like a wise decision.

Total cost for our visit today is RM530.

Waiting for Assessment Day

Today is day 28 of my cycle which means I should be getting my period in a few days time. For the first time since we started trying to conceive, I feel very excited about my period. I can't wait to start this whole IVF process. I will be ringing KL Fertility Centre the day I get my period....again, excited!

Someone close to me is now 7 weeks pregnant. I am happy beyond words for her. I will love her baby like my own child....today I went shopping with her to buy some essentials since she started to put on weight due to the pregnancy. And no, she does not know that I am having problem conceiving. I will tell her one day but not yet. She deserves to enjoy her pregnancy and should not feel sad for me. So the secret remains for now :)

I have also decided to stop reading more on IVF for now....simply because we just wanted to give it a break. Also to just enjoy each other's company even more. If the IVF is a success, we might even end up with a pair of twins next year ;) so for now, the future mummy and daddy are going on their honeymoon again! :D

Dato' Dr Prashant

Finally, our first day meeting the doctor.

I went alone to get the result of the SA yesterday. The sperm count has inceased to 8mil from 3mil. Motility increases from 49% to 50%. The result is still within the same range. I went home, told my husband subtly and both of us were ok with it.

We arrived at 10 at the clinic but only got to see the Dr at 1030am. I have been warned about the wait through reading a few blogs written by other patients of Dr Prashant. I killed the waiting time by going through the Royal Wedding photos in Hello!. Such a happy occasion and it reminded me of my wedding day, 2 years ago.

Dr Prashant was very direct with us. He started asking standard questions, started looking at the sperm test result and straight away said...'You need to do IVF'. I was disappointed because I was hoping to be able to do IUI since I am scared of needles but at the same time, I was glad to get a straight forward answer. To me, it is better to spend all that money on the best option rather than hunting on simpler option yet not going anywhere. Hubby was calm too even though I know he was still upset with the fact that I forced him to do the count earlier than he wanted to. The main point is, sperm count test does not change in 1 month or a week. The count, if changes, will only happen in 3 months.

We spent maybe 10mins with Dr Prashant. All I can say for now, he is very direct and did not waste anyone's time.I have not done any procedure with him, so I could not write a review on his work. We shall find out when I come back for my assessment in my next cycle!

We then went to see Nurse H who explains about IVF. I was happy and full with hope when she said with IVF, for people at my age, we have 65% success rate. That is good enough for me. Then suddenly Dr Prashant walked in and we asked him about IUI. He said with IUI, with the sperm count that we have, it is only 1% chance that we will be able to conceive. Of course, IVF is expensive. After further discussion, considering our age, the cost for our IVF treatment is going to be RM15,500. The normal package is RM17,500 but since they categorised us as a young couple, we were given RM2k discount.

I will have to come back for an assessment on day 2 and day 10 of my cycle to see if I am a suitable candidate for IVF. Between now and then, hubby and I will discuss when to start our IVF journey. With Ramadhan coming and both of us going away for holiday soon, we plan to postpone our IVF to September. It feels ages away but I would like to have a good Ramadhan. I really hope Allah will answer our prayers....we both can wait a little longer. After all, a child is a gift from Him....we have accepted that our journey towards having a child is not as easy as others and we will keep on trying.

Today, I feel content....for the first time, I feel there is hope and we started to see the light at the end of the tunnel. InsyaAllah, we will be ok. I hope we will...

Cost for today - RM100 for semen analysis and RM100 for consultation. To me, this was way cheaper than the charge by my gynae at Primanora, TTDI. We may have to spend more in our next visit for my assessment since my next visit will involve blood test and ultrasound scan. Until then, I am just going to take a break from thinking about this and just enjoy life as usual. Until next time :)

Giving Up?

To be honest, I feel like I am giving up. It is my husband with the fertility problem but he can act like nothing is going on...he keeps on saying how much he wants a child yet I am doing everything. The research, the walk to the clinic, the pain. It is tough being in my shoes. I read so many blogs...most of them have problem with the wives. Not many with male fertility problem. I feel so alone...I really hope my blog can help the wives out there with problem like mine. At the end of the day, everyone is alone. You just need to be strong because at the end of the day, it is just you and your problem.

Yesterday, after months of stress and sadness, finally my husband agreed to tell his parents. I have been wanting to tell my in laws ages ago but hubby said no. My in laws were calm about it. They think it is too early for us to go through fertility treatment. Hubby told them in a subtle way, as if it is a small problem. Well maybe it is. How bad is it to live our lives without a child of our own? If it is up to me, just adopt one for now and let God determine the rest. Plus, the pain that I am going through now is just too much....

Today, we sent our SA to the clinic. Nurse H and another nurse were there to greet me. Today I saw about 4 couples at the clinic, not too crowded like the last visit. The result will be ready on 14062011. I would like to review the result before we see the Dr on the 15th. To be honest, I am not expecting much improvement since I am still not pregnant....

I am feeling extremely sad today...the rude tone of voice which some people around me are using is not helping my depression. The news every single week that a family member or a friend is pregnant is becoming unbearable. I always hope it is a journey together...but it could be my journey alone. What ever it will be, I will prepare myself for it.

I read a very motivating blog today...if you are reading my blog, you should read her blog too:

http://arlene-stylishbaby.blogspot.com/2010_08_01_archive.html


Overall, not a good day.

Decision Time!

Since the last 10months, we have tried various medications which include Tribestan, Vitamins C, E, zinc, folic acid and fertility blend for both men and women. Results? No pregnancy. We will be doing our second semen analysis tomorrow...I am hoping Hubby's sperm count has increased. It will be good for his confidence.

Yesterday, the 7th of June 2011, we have both decided to go for Assisted Reproduction programme. We consulted my mother, the only third person who knows about our problem so far. This is not a kind of illness that you would want to share with the whole world. Mom is very supportive. We wished we could tell the rest of our family members but we are not ready. I started googling the best clinics and hospitals....we finally decided on KL Fertility Clinic and will be seeing Dr Prashant Nadkarni next week.

I visited the clinic alone yesterday to register and to get the pot for our SA. The clinic was packed, I saw 3 Malay couples, 3 Indians and 2 Chinese. They were all in their 30s. I was probably the youngest patient at the clinic. Everyone avoided each other's eyes...probably embarrassed. It felt weird but I like the ambience at the clinic. The Nurse, let's just call her Nurse H has been very helpful. Visit 1 - no negative feeling!

My advise for choosing the right clinic is, please consider the 3 things below:

1) the distance from your house. The nearer the better.
2) the doctor! I shall write more on this next week when I see my Dr on the 15th
3) the ambience. I am ok with KL Fertility so far.

We are both very excited about the process but nervous and scared at the same time. I am very inclined towards IUI, hoping we don't have to go for IVF which is very invasive and expensive.

I am praying to God to give us stregth to go through the process....

The day we got to know Infertility

Dear Readers,

It has been exactly 10 months today since we got to know the word infertile, 8 years and 2 months since we fell in love and 1 year 10 months since we got married. I am writing this blog not just as a note to myself in the future but also, hopefully to help others who are going through the same problem as us.

Since the day I met my husband, that was the day I know I want to carry his child. Never I wake up without feeling grateful to have a devoted husband who loves me the way he does. When our gynae confirmed that Hubby has a very low sperm count of 3mil per ml, our heart shattered. Hubby was devastated and I felt like half of me is paralyzed, seeing how sad he was. It was not the word infertile that hits me hard but seeing the love of my life so sad, made me fell apart.

I tried to be strong, straight away googling blogs and alternative treatments. We will not give up and we will fight this... This blog is our journey towards finding the mini us...together, hubby and me.

Welcome to our blog, our journey together towards the mini us!